LET’S FIRST TOUCH BASE ABOUT BOUNDARIES.
Boundaries can look like different things in different relationships. Remember, having boundaries doesn’t mean you are not kind. Boundaries aren’t meant to be a punishment to the people in your life, but are there for your well-being and protecting your heart. You don’t have to be “mean” or escalate to establish them, in fact, they’re more effective when you’re assertive, calm, and firm. If you have found yourself feeling angry or resentful at work it maybe a signal that boundaries are in need of being placed. I know it can be scary and overwhelming at times… but take a deep breath. Once you get a little practice setting boundaries your life you’ll feel more empowered and your relationships are more likely to flourish.
One boundary that I believe all professional nannies should have in place is a contract. Having your contract is accountability for your work boundaries and expectations. I personally will not go forward with a new family if they won’t agree to having a contract in place. Not because they aren’t incredible people, but because contracts provide a level of security and layout boundaries from the get go. Nannying is definitely both a professional AND personal job. Sometimes emotions can get involved. I find it’s best to have a hard copy of your agreement rather than relying on how each party remembers the agreements when conflicts arise. A contract will help you and your employer’s set the tone for your working relationship, clearly outline the expectations of both parties, and provide written documentation of what you all have agreed to. It honestly helps resolve potential conflict or tension just by existing. I am not sure about you, while I know conflict sometimes arises in life… I don’t love it. Anything I can do to keep things running smoothly and happily, I will do.
Your contract will also help you know when it is ok to use the word “no”. For example, it’s actually ok to turn down things that are not in your contract. If you are the type who doesn’t want to babysit on the weekends when you’ve just completed a full time week of nannying… that’s ok. If you would like to to be asked to sit for extra cash, that also ok! Learn to have a healthy relationship with the word “no” in your overall life. When placed at the right moments, both “yes” and “no” are very powerful little words.
NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT SELF CARE.
Self care is something deeply personal. It’s about creating opportunities to experience joy and that can mean a lot of different things. While getting a manicure might be exactly what one person needs, another person might fell dissatisfied after a manicure. Or the person who enjoyed it once, might be dissatisfied the next time. There are so many ways to practice self care in your #nannnylife, but here are a few that I have found to be most fruitful in mine:
- USE YOUR VACATION/PTO DAYS
Using your contracted vacation/PTO days isn’t disrespectful or inconsiderate. This includes any days that your mental health demands it. I have been really surprised by the number of nannies I have come across over the years who have great contracts signed with their nanny families- all of which include vacation/PTO/sick days. But alas… the nanny is too afraid to ever use them. Even with ample notice.
Now hear me out. This is not an invitation to call out of work every single time you don’t feel like going. This is not an excuse for you to not do your part in giving your family notice when you would like a day off. This is a call to be intentional and respectful. Of course there maybe a time where you genuinely need a mental health day and are unable to give ample notice. Do it. We all go through seasons in life where life is incredibly hard. Losing loved one, going through a bad breakup, getting a difficult medical diagnosis… sometimes life is can be really hard. Your mental health matters just as much as your physical. I know that vacation makes refreshes my soul and I am both a better nanny and happier person when I honor myself in taking a break.
- BUDGET SELF CARE
Budgeting self care isn’t selfish or frivolous. Yes, we all have bills and priorities. Make sure you aren’t neglecting your responsibilities to spend money on every whim. But don’t be afraid to budget a little fun in your life either (I used to be guilty of this. *Raises hand). Find the things that make you feel the best. Maybe you love getting your nails done. Do it! Get that massage, color your hair bright magenta, go out to eat a nice meal with your closest friends, get a new pair of shoes, buy a novel, take an origami class, get that tattoo you’ve been jonesin’ for, save up for an adventure to Guam. Whatever tickles your fancy. Because at the end of the day… you’re caring for your heart and you’ll be better for it. You are an individual person outside of your Nanny title and your passions, dreams, and little things that make you happy are important.
- PRIORITIZE YOUR PHYSICAL & HEALTH
Please don’t forget, your physical and mental health are sacred. It can most definitely feel hard when you are making sure the you nanny kiddos are happy and healthy. Working full-time nanny hours more often than not looks like 50-60+ hours per week. Honestly, this is the one that’s hardest for me to keep up with as a nanny. But when I make sure that caring for my health (both physically and mentally) is a priority for me, I am just better all around. I feel better and my capacity at work and home is much larger. Here are the things that help me stay healthy:
- Hydrating
- Meal Prepping
- Exercise
- Praying/Meditating
- Journalling
- Watching something on TV purely to belly laugh
- MAKE TIME FOR RELATIONSHIPS
It’s so important to have community. Making sure that you have time for your family and friends is oh so important.
If you don’t have any nanny friends yet, I encourage you to be active in looking for some! Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a whole squad! No one truly gets a nanny like another nanny. Having someone who fully understands what you are going through, can cheer you on, give you a shoulder to cry on, let you vent, provide some solid advice— they are worth their weight in gold. If you don’t know where to begin, you can always start on our website. Click “Join The Hood” and find out if there is a local group near you or apply to start your own! Here are a few other ways you may find you new nanny BFF:
- Join a Facebook group (you can join ours riiiight herrrreee)
- Take your kiddos to classes and activities where other nannies will be hanging out
- Be proactive in meeting other adults at the park
- Look for local nanny groups on Meetup
- PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Did you know that being grateful actually has an impact on our overall health and well being? Studies show that people who practice the art of gratitude on the regular actually sleep better, have less headaches and overall pain in the body, improved immune function, stronger/more relationships, better self esteem and mental health, and a stronger sense of purpose. Umm… sign me up! Over the years as a nanny I have found that keeping myself anchored in gratitude has made a world of difference to the way I show up to work, interact with my littles, think about/treat my employers, and so much more. Here are a few ideas to get those thankful juices pumping:
- Keep a gratitude journal
- Make a Joy Jar
- Write a thank you note
- Pray/meditate
- Give back
- INVEST IN NANNY MENTORING
Sometimes we need to ask for help and that’s ok. Navigating Nanny life can be hard. As we have seen over and over in The Nannysphere, “there is no HR depart for nannies”, we have to advocate for ourselves. Investing in time with a Nanny mentor can help with sharpening you in so many spheres of your career. If you are feeling overwhelmed by how to handle conflict resolution with your employers, want to strengthen your interview skills, understand industry standards, gain confidence in communicating with your Mom & Dad Boss, learn how to have a stand out nanny portfolio and resume, or get fresh perspective and ideas to make your days nannying even better… you may want to head over to our Nanny Mentoring page and check out mentoring our packages. You are not alone.
You are so important, Nanny. You are the only nanny just like you and the only nanny who can give your current nanny family exactly what you’re giving them right now. Make sure to honor yourself… because you are most definitely worth it. All of it.
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